He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
