Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it penis luge time yet?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
