So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
