Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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