He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
