when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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