Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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