he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
