That's intense
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
