We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
