i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
