I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Randomize