i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
