WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
