New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
