I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
