he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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