woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize