And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
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