We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
