Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
