Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize