remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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