i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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