It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
