You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
