You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
