Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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