You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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