she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
