Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
