so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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