so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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