I can tuck mytits in my pants
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
