where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
