My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize