My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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