Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
