I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
