Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
