Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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