She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
