You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
