Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
