Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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