It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
