I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize