I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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