I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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