South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
