I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize