yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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