you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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