Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
did you just send me my own nude
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
