I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
