ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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