so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
